Take a Step and Step Again

By: Melissa Francis, M.A., LPCA, NCC

The lyrics eventually lead us to hope, with a tiny voice that whisper’s inside of us, a voice that says, “you must go on.” But how? Where do we even begin?

Recently, a client shared with me a song from the movie Frozen II and as she read the lyrics to me, I could see the impact and connection they had to her grief. A simple song that can connect everyone I sit with, each line representing how dark, empty, cold, and hopeless you feel after someone you love dies. The lyrics eventually lead us to hope, with a tiny voice that whisper’s inside of us, a voice that says, “you must go on.” But how? Where do we even begin?

In the beginning, we feel disconnected, cold, numb, as if we are walking through a mine field of emotions, never knowing which one is going to appear. Desperately we look to the future, trying to imagine a different life, sometimes avoiding our grief because it is hard work. We accept that our life will never be the same and it is important for us to acknowledge this. Avoiding our grief may be harmful, however taking a break from it and finding new ways to begin to move forward is part of the healing.

Where is it that we begin to envision a new life? It begins by first taking a breath and moving forward, take a step, and step again. You will have moments you feel as if you are going backwards; this is part of the healing and the love we shared, start again. Step outside, breath, listen to music, take a walk, be kind to yourself, don’t rush it, and you will find life again. Remember you don’t have to go through this alone, so reach out to others for support. Contact a grief counselor. Hospice & Palliative Care Charlotte Region can provide additional support, including individual counseling and groups to help you navigate the many feelings associated with grief.

Your life will never be the same, and as the poem Shipwreck reminds us, we don’t want it to. The time we shared with our loved one is special and can never be replaced. So we must learn to go on, and this is how we honor them.